growth is not what I anticipated.

for everything lost, something better

was gained—

and my soul feels pulled in two directions:

my old ways,

and the ones I am stepping into.

I never knew nostalgia could hurt

so much,

or that freedom could be found

in forms of loss.

the sunrise I never thought would come

is finally dawning,

and I am scared

of what it means

to leave the darkness behind.